Diary Of An Average African Girl

There are times in a girl’s life when you can’t keep guys off you. You just seem way more attractive to them than any other girl. They’ll start chyking you from all angles and they'll come in different categories. After a while everything calms down and once again you walk the streets and not even one guy takes a second look at you.  That hot time that I’m talking about is what Tricia is experiencing now.  Guys no wan gree her rest oo!  They’re all up in her base. She gets chykers everywhere, in church, in the market and supermarket, in class, and even keke drivers are after her. She keeps on telling me hilarious stories of her recent escapades . But out of all these people, there was one guy she kept on talking about even a week after.  Hmm, I felt there was something going on but she kept on insisting that there wasn’t so I let it go. Like play like play, they were seeing almost every day after school and she was seeing her boyfriend even less. Idong is my...

Why are people so scared of being single? It’s seriously disturbing. I feel anyone who’s scared of being single has serious esteem issues. I once went for a single forum in a church and a lot of things were said but one of the things that I won’t forget is When the preacher said the first step to getting a partner that’s meant for you, the partner that God has designed for you is to discover yourself, and that can’t happen if you’re already attached to someone, you can only discover yourself when you’re alone.  A lot of people don’t even know what they want in a life. Some don’t even know have a life again. What happens when your partner leaves you? You’re broken; you don’t even know how to pick up the pieces again. You’re in pieces, that’s what happens when you wrap your world around another human being.  I asked koko when last she was single and she said she couldn’t remember. Can you imagine that? As she’s dropping one she’s picking another and apart from the sex being ...

One of the things I hate in my life is people comparing me to other people. I hate comparisons, like when my jamb result came out and my parents were like “what do you mean by you got 265 in jamb? Chijoke that got 286, does he have two heads?” I haven’t yet seen anyone who was good at comparison like Nigerian parents, that changed when I met uwem. Uwem is someone I can relate to. We talk without lacking topic. She’s really cool and we blend well but I have one problem with her. She compares a lot,I mean really stupid comparisons. I used to get offended but now I just wonder how she manages to find a way to compare everything. I can give you some examples. My friend called me and I picked to answer (I say my friend cause we haven’t actually started dating, that’s a story for another day) after I finished talking with him, just as I dropped the phone she was like “hmm your boyfriend cannot even disturb you more than my own, I even get tired of his calls self but, what can I do he can’...

         I’m sitting under a tree with my girlfriends Tricia, uwem & koko. We’re talking about a variety of things ranging from boys to makeup to gossip to entertainment gist. Tricia’s boyfriend calls and she steps aside to talk. Yea, that’s true…… I didn’t tell you Tricia got a new boo. Well she did and I really like this one. He’s cool, he’s nice, really sweet and really good looking and the best part of it is that he likes her, I mean he’s crazy for that girl! I’m really happy for them. I can remember how she was fresh out of that her bad relationship. He came along, with his promise of love. She made him go through hell during the ‘asking out’ process. He made her smile again after her ex-boyfriend dumped her for no reason and they look so good together that I feel good just by looking at them.           She comes back glowing (lol, proof that it was definitely boo she spoke to) and tells us ...

Jinx Noun (plural jinxes) 1. A hex: an evil spell 2. A person or thing supposed to bring badluck Synonyms > (hex) curse, voodoo, Indian sign, spell.               Well all these is what my dictionary told me, but the way I remember this word is quite different. Thinking of it now takes me back to secoundary school, whenever two or more people said the same thing at the same time, whoever was faster would scream jinx! and hit the other. I believe it all started from Mr Thomas, our biology teacher telling us that when two or more people said the same words at the same time that it'd bring badluck and so to cancel that badluck you should scream jinx ( I have no idea who added the hitting part). Since it involved hitting another person and lots of running, we were more than happy to oblige. It was years later that I understood that Mr Thomas was pulling our legs and we took it all too seriously.    ...

Oh my face! My beautiful face!           I’m trying to teach this my friend that does really awful makeup how to get better. I say ‘I’m trying’ because I obviously didn’t do a good work of teaching, cause I look like shit (nsi agbara katapult). I never knew though that sacrificing my face came with the whole package. You wouldn’t want to see me now; I look bad, reallyyyyy bad! Yes, it’s true that Tricia does terrible makeup, and I’m trying to help her but that’s not even the main reason I’m trying to help her. Tricia’s boyfriend broke up with her last month and it broke her poor heart. I know she really liked the idiot. I never really liked him. He wasn’t caring, not trustworthy, lied a lot and always kept her waiting. He hurt her more than he made her smile. Good riddance I’d say but Tricia didn’t think so. That was the love of her life, they ha d even named their four ‘imaginary’ kids, the girls all ha d names beginning with T as in Tri...

So I’m sitting in this class, clearly dying of boredom. This professor is killing me slowly. It’s a 2-hour class and we’ve used only 45 minutes. I’m tired, I really am. I’ve had chain classes since 7:00 this morning and I’m really hating this. I look for whom to blame and the only people available are those heading the Nigerian educational system a.k.a our ogas at the top. Because I’m bored and tired, I start thinking of really weird things like how my really skinny course mate( sitting right next to me) would look in a two piece bikini. And now am actually thinking if orange (the color) was named after orange(the fruit) or if orange(the fruit) was named after orange(the color). Crazy right? Lmhao Brain doctors would have a field day looking into mine. My afro weavon is itching me; I don’t even care if that cute guy is looking at me. I scratch without mercy, that’s how frustrated I am. Everyone is looking at me now……. ✋ Wait! Why is everyone looking at me? (back to earth girl!...

          Sometimes I get inspiration to write when I’m at really weird places, like right now I’m in the toilet.  Don't look so shocked!  😄😄😄 When I’m bored I look at random people and try to guess their story. Just a game a play by myself. I’m looking at this girl now and all I can feel is sadness. I don’t know her but she looks like someone who’s been terribly hurt. I try to look away and I finally succeed though I still turn around to look at her one more time before going my way, I was to pressed to hang around and study her more. Sitting in the toilet now, I remember that sad looking girl and these words just keep playing in my head. “ I know of a girl A girl who doesn’t care A girl who doesn’t believe in love A girl who thinks it’s underrated A girl who has been hurt and now she CARESless” I’m not really a poetic person and so I don’t even know where this inspiration came from. All thanks to that strange sad girl...

Remember chike? Yes, that chike…… Okay just  Click here   if you don’t remember. Chike who gave me advice. I found out that chike has been lying to me. He said he loved his girlfriend and even talks about the girl so much that it hurts my ears to listen. Guess what? Yea, you’re right! There’s no girlfriend.         I was gisting with my girlfriend at a sit out in school, when he happened to pass by. He stopped to say hello and it turned out that they knew each other too. He didn’t stay long anyway, so after he left out of curiosity I asked my friend about his girlfriend. She looked confused at first before she laughed and told me he had none. I just waived it aside, cause I thought since they weren’t that close anyway, she wouldn’t know the current happenings in his life.         It was more than a week before I saw chike again. We talked and laughed as usual. Maybe because my friend had planted a li...

Hello diary,         I've missed you sooooo much. Hope you've been alright. I know you might not be so happy with me, cause I haven't dropped by, but I promise to try to visit more regularly. I had way too many assignments to handle and a lot of school events too. I can't promise that I won't go MIA again but I promise that I'll try my best to make at least one entry every three days. I really missed you..... With much love, hugs and kisses Love Oma