Diary Of An Average African Girl

Oh my face! My beautiful face!           I’m trying to teach this my friend that does really awful makeup how to get better. I say ‘I’m trying’ because I obviously didn’t do a good work of teaching, cause I look like shit (nsi agbara katapult). I never knew though that sacrificing my face came with the whole package. You wouldn’t want to see me now; I look bad, reallyyyyy bad! Yes, it’s true that Tricia does terrible makeup, and I’m trying to help her but that’s not even the main reason I’m trying to help her. Tricia’s boyfriend broke up with her last month and it broke her poor heart. I know she really liked the idiot. I never really liked him. He wasn’t caring, not trustworthy, lied a lot and always kept her waiting. He hurt her more than he made her smile. Good riddance I’d say but Tricia didn’t think so. That was the love of her life, they ha d even named their four ‘imaginary’ kids, the girls all ha d names beginning with T as in Tri...

So I’m sitting in this class, clearly dying of boredom. This professor is killing me slowly. It’s a 2-hour class and we’ve used only 45 minutes. I’m tired, I really am. I’ve had chain classes since 7:00 this morning and I’m really hating this. I look for whom to blame and the only people available are those heading the Nigerian educational system a.k.a our ogas at the top. Because I’m bored and tired, I start thinking of really weird things like how my really skinny course mate( sitting right next to me) would look in a two piece bikini. And now am actually thinking if orange (the color) was named after orange(the fruit) or if orange(the fruit) was named after orange(the color). Crazy right? Lmhao Brain doctors would have a field day looking into mine. My afro weavon is itching me; I don’t even care if that cute guy is looking at me. I scratch without mercy, that’s how frustrated I am. Everyone is looking at me now……. ✋ Wait! Why is everyone looking at me? (back to earth girl!...

          Sometimes I get inspiration to write when I’m at really weird places, like right now I’m in the toilet.  Don't look so shocked!  😄😄😄 When I’m bored I look at random people and try to guess their story. Just a game a play by myself. I’m looking at this girl now and all I can feel is sadness. I don’t know her but she looks like someone who’s been terribly hurt. I try to look away and I finally succeed though I still turn around to look at her one more time before going my way, I was to pressed to hang around and study her more. Sitting in the toilet now, I remember that sad looking girl and these words just keep playing in my head. “ I know of a girl A girl who doesn’t care A girl who doesn’t believe in love A girl who thinks it’s underrated A girl who has been hurt and now she CARESless” I’m not really a poetic person and so I don’t even know where this inspiration came from. All thanks to that strange sad girl...

Remember chike? Yes, that chike…… Okay just  Click here   if you don’t remember. Chike who gave me advice. I found out that chike has been lying to me. He said he loved his girlfriend and even talks about the girl so much that it hurts my ears to listen. Guess what? Yea, you’re right! There’s no girlfriend.         I was gisting with my girlfriend at a sit out in school, when he happened to pass by. He stopped to say hello and it turned out that they knew each other too. He didn’t stay long anyway, so after he left out of curiosity I asked my friend about his girlfriend. She looked confused at first before she laughed and told me he had none. I just waived it aside, cause I thought since they weren’t that close anyway, she wouldn’t know the current happenings in his life.         It was more than a week before I saw chike again. We talked and laughed as usual. Maybe because my friend had planted a li...

Hello diary,         I've missed you sooooo much. Hope you've been alright. I know you might not be so happy with me, cause I haven't dropped by, but I promise to try to visit more regularly. I had way too many assignments to handle and a lot of school events too. I can't promise that I won't go MIA again but I promise that I'll try my best to make at least one entry every three days. I really missed you..... With much love, hugs and kisses Love Oma

             When I was younger, my dad inculcated the habit of “taking responsibility for your actions” in my siblings and I. Me most especially  because I’m the first born child in an African home. I hate it when people don’t take responsibility for their actions, or even worse, try to put it on someone else. Nigerians are very beautiful people. We’re beautiful inside out, but we can also be really good at passing blame. We blame any and everyone and I believe one of the factors that helps in promoting blame transfer is the Nigerian English.                The British would say: Am sorry mom, I had an F in my test.     Naija: Mummy you won’t believe that teacher gave me an F. (Gave you what? Nobody gave you anything joor! That kind giving…..)      British: I got the pox or I have the pox      Naija: Anne has given...

If you didn’t read my last two post, you might not understand this. To read that story, Click here.            My friend edidiong is fifty shades of crazy! I finally visited after fighting with my guilt and practicing what I’d tell her in front of my mirror. Funny enough, she seemed perfectly fine. I didn’t want to be the one to start the “how are you feeling after getting raped” conversation, so I decided to go with the flow. She’d made a little jollof rice first so we sat down to eat it, she insisted that she had to buy drinks which I told her was not really necessary but trust edidiong to go out of her way to make you comfortable. She went to buy the drinks so it was just me in her house. I can’t say how long I waited, but I knew it wasn’t long I heard a knock. I thought it might be edidiong trying to be funny; I got up smiling and went to open the door and my smile faded, behold it was idy! Immediately I went into attack mode. He wa...

 This beautiful piece was written by covenant.  Click here to check her out on facebook! - - - - - - -Differences Between Dating A Boy And A Man- - - - - - - ➡ A boy is possessive. A man is protective. ➡ A boy tells you he loves you. A man tells you he loves you & backs it up with actions. ➡ A boy makes you feel like you are not good enof. A man makes you want to be a better person because you have so much genuine respect for him. ➡ A boy makes you feel you need to downplay your accomplishments so as not to embarrass him. A man is not threatened by your success, but is proud of it & inspired by it. ➡ A boy is concerned with his own pleasure. A man cannot enjoy himself unless he knows you are too. ➡ A boy underestimates you. A man is not afraid to challenge you, because he knows what you are capable of. ➡ A boy is interested in your life as long as he gets something out of it. A man will be interested in your life because he cares & wants to understand you deeply ...

Wonders shall never end o!            Edidiong cannot and will not put me to shame. So yesterday, I was on my own and my friend edidiong called me and asked if I was free so she could come over. Truth be told, I was actually really bored at home.  So in about 25 minutes edidiong was in my house, we gisted and laughed for a little while and then while we had noodles she told me about her new boyfriend Michael. Edidiong got a call then and was like I should accompany her to see a friend. I asked her the location and who exactly was sponsoring the waka (journey), she said the bills were on her.                 Dear diary, since the bills were on edidiong who was I not to agree. When we got there I found out that edidiong didn’t know this guy from Adam and that my safety wasn’t sure. I expected edidiong to feel uncomfortable or something, but she was cool almost ...

             So today out of my really busy schedule, I took out a little time to see a movie “I think I love my wife” (yea I know it’s an old movie) but it got me thinking. Sometimes it’s really the women who push their men to cheat. Remember the post about eguisi soup? What happens when the eguisi refuses to be garnished, gets soured and is therefore not appealing to the mouth?                DON’T BE BORING! Nobody, and I repeat nobody can handle a boring conversation not to talk of a boring forever of conversations. What does your man like? (I can’t answer that question for you) do them for him. I know that there are still them dogs who will cheat even if you decide to give them ‘snake in the monkey shadow style’ on bed but at least try, don’t be the reason your relationship failed. Don’t be the boring one! That’s how oma sees it…………    ...