Diary Of An Average African Girl

Hello diary,         I've missed you sooooo much. Hope you've been alright. I know you might not be so happy with me, cause I haven't dropped by, but I promise to try to visit more regularly. I had way too many assignments to handle and a lot of school events too. I can't promise that I won't go MIA again but I promise that I'll try my best to make at least one entry every three days. I really missed you..... With much love, hugs and kisses Love Oma

             When I was younger, my dad inculcated the habit of “taking responsibility for your actions” in my siblings and I. Me most especially  because I’m the first born child in an African home. I hate it when people don’t take responsibility for their actions, or even worse, try to put it on someone else. Nigerians are very beautiful people. We’re beautiful inside out, but we can also be really good at passing blame. We blame any and everyone and I believe one of the factors that helps in promoting blame transfer is the Nigerian English.                The British would say: Am sorry mom, I had an F in my test.     Naija: Mummy you won’t believe that teacher gave me an F. (Gave you what? Nobody gave you anything joor! That kind giving…..)      British: I got the pox or I have the pox      Naija: Anne has given...

If you didn’t read my last two post, you might not understand this. To read that story, Click here.            My friend edidiong is fifty shades of crazy! I finally visited after fighting with my guilt and practicing what I’d tell her in front of my mirror. Funny enough, she seemed perfectly fine. I didn’t want to be the one to start the “how are you feeling after getting raped” conversation, so I decided to go with the flow. She’d made a little jollof rice first so we sat down to eat it, she insisted that she had to buy drinks which I told her was not really necessary but trust edidiong to go out of her way to make you comfortable. She went to buy the drinks so it was just me in her house. I can’t say how long I waited, but I knew it wasn’t long I heard a knock. I thought it might be edidiong trying to be funny; I got up smiling and went to open the door and my smile faded, behold it was idy! Immediately I went into attack mode. He wa...

 This beautiful piece was written by covenant.  Click here to check her out on facebook! - - - - - - -Differences Between Dating A Boy And A Man- - - - - - - ➡ A boy is possessive. A man is protective. ➡ A boy tells you he loves you. A man tells you he loves you & backs it up with actions. ➡ A boy makes you feel like you are not good enof. A man makes you want to be a better person because you have so much genuine respect for him. ➡ A boy makes you feel you need to downplay your accomplishments so as not to embarrass him. A man is not threatened by your success, but is proud of it & inspired by it. ➡ A boy is concerned with his own pleasure. A man cannot enjoy himself unless he knows you are too. ➡ A boy underestimates you. A man is not afraid to challenge you, because he knows what you are capable of. ➡ A boy is interested in your life as long as he gets something out of it. A man will be interested in your life because he cares & wants to understand you deeply ...

Wonders shall never end o!            Edidiong cannot and will not put me to shame. So yesterday, I was on my own and my friend edidiong called me and asked if I was free so she could come over. Truth be told, I was actually really bored at home.  So in about 25 minutes edidiong was in my house, we gisted and laughed for a little while and then while we had noodles she told me about her new boyfriend Michael. Edidiong got a call then and was like I should accompany her to see a friend. I asked her the location and who exactly was sponsoring the waka (journey), she said the bills were on her.                 Dear diary, since the bills were on edidiong who was I not to agree. When we got there I found out that edidiong didn’t know this guy from Adam and that my safety wasn’t sure. I expected edidiong to feel uncomfortable or something, but she was cool almost ...

             So today out of my really busy schedule, I took out a little time to see a movie “I think I love my wife” (yea I know it’s an old movie) but it got me thinking. Sometimes it’s really the women who push their men to cheat. Remember the post about eguisi soup? What happens when the eguisi refuses to be garnished, gets soured and is therefore not appealing to the mouth?                DON’T BE BORING! Nobody, and I repeat nobody can handle a boring conversation not to talk of a boring forever of conversations. What does your man like? (I can’t answer that question for you) do them for him. I know that there are still them dogs who will cheat even if you decide to give them ‘snake in the monkey shadow style’ on bed but at least try, don’t be the reason your relationship failed. Don’t be the boring one! That’s how oma sees it…………    ...

                  Sometimes I hear guys and ladies refer to us (the opposite sex) as soups. They’ll say things like “oma I can’t be faithful to one person oo, how will somebody eat only eguisi (melon) soup all the days of their lives? You no go tire? No 1. Nobody begged you in the first place to go and marry wife/husband or get girlfriend/boyfriend that you can’t and have no plans to be faithful to. Later when your partner catches you and does something, you’ll start saying things like women are evil or men are wicked.                    I saw a picture sometime of a woman that cooked her cheating husband’s penis with indomie noodles and people were seriously bashing her. I only felt she should have at least grilled or fried it (the dick) first. I believe it would’ve looked prettier. No 2. Since we’re talking about soups, personally ...

             Am just sitting with a few friends, this beautiful day, we’re chatting, everybody is happy and chinwe (one of my friends who just recently broke up with her boyfriend) asked “why do men cheat?” and Idy (another one of my friends, an unrepentant playboy) answered “sweetie, because we can”.              Well for those of us that have not yet been informed am here to inform you that what a man can do a woman can do better!              When you can’t control your third leg, I mean the one in-between your trousers and then you abandon that good woman you brought from her father’s house with the promise of love, trust and faithfulness and then that woman finds out and cheats on you too, after all two can play that game and you find out and start going around ...

Babygirlness: (VERB) being simple in all you do in life. Avoiding stress and all its agents. E.g.   i. oma is a babygirl for life!          ii. Anyone who owns a functional blender and still prefers pounding with mortar and pestle has issues with babygirlness.                I read a post written by a face book friend about being a babygirl and it got me laughing, reminded me of an experience I had few years back. Fresh out of secondary school I went for holidays in my aunt’s place, aunt lizzy. Aunt Lizzy had or rather has (since she hasn’t changed one bit) this tendency of making life difficult for anyone and everyone who stayed close to her.                 I can still remember vividly the afternoon she sent me to bring down the pot of soup from the stove while she was busy at the corner of...

4/6/2017                   So, recently I met a friend. He’s not like a lot of people I know and I think that’s what drew me to him. He is a friend’s friend and we met at that friend’s party. Chike is his name. Chike is someone I found easy to connect to, he’s happily dating incase you’re wondering if he’s actually into me. He talks about his girlfriend so much that sometimes it hurts my ears.                    I know you're wondering why am writing about chike. Well this is supposed to be my diary and yes, chike surprised me.

This morning was awesome!            While good people of the world were asleep in their beds,  ijeoma was running the race of her life and for her life. My broda, my sister no be small thing oo. It all started Friday afternoon when I decided to go clubbing since it was #tgif. Friday evening fully dressed in my bumshorts I succeeded in dragging my poor friend along. Right from when we got there, there had been issues. We were hearing screaming outside and all that, thinking it was just normal noise in club we continued having fun inside joor. The next thing broken bottles were flying in the air, seats were crashing and my legs started flying out of their own accord, I didn't even remember my dearest friend.              In the process of everyone trying to get out at the same time the glass doors shattered, people were wounded some even bleeding. I succeeded in getting thr...